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It's been a crazy past couple weeks for Jake Starr. He was riding high, riding a win streak that rivaled one of his personal bests in his SCW career, and then it all came crashing down in a epic fashion. First, it was Lucas Knight, a man who Jake was able to best in his previous encounter, but this time fell short. Sure, it was a match that was marred by the interference of Shawn Winters, but nevertheless, it was a loss for Jake, and a killer to his momentum. It then carried over into Under Attack. Another match, this one the epic encounter with Shawn Winters himself, but again, marred by controversy. Winters decided to have his cronies, the rest of the members of Greaternity, include themselves, and assist him in his victory.
Two matches... Two losses... While both shrouded in controversial endings, both are still there, staring him in the face. It's brought us to the present. It's brought us to a time where nobody is quite sure about how Jake will react to losing, or what he'll set forth on as his next planned venture. Nobody knows if he'll want another match with Winters. Nobody knows if he'll want to give up on that, move forward, and try for something better, bigger, and ultimately with FAR more substance than the likes of Winters. Nobody knows anything, including Jake. Having made the quiet trip back to Des Moines, his mind has been flooded with thoughts. He's been wondering if things are to a point when he's reached his personal pinnacle, and could quite possibly have nowhere else to go, or if it's just a bit of a stumble, in a far greater ascension into greatness. Many thoughts about wrestling, about Winters, about the events, about his decision to have his friends remain in the back, about everything surrounding the pay-per view have simply been all he can think about. The match, as a whole, has replayed countless times. He's wondered what he could have done differently. He's wondered if there was anything that would have gotten him the win, or taken down the numbers game to something more manageable. He's just wondered. All of the wonder, though, subsides as he gets closer to his home. He begins to remember what he left. He begins to remember the fact that his in-laws had shown up unannounced. He isn't aware of the turmoil that happened after he left because of the fact Roeper elected to wait until he came home. She didn't want him worried the fact that her own father had made statements about him, alleging infidelity, a lack of caring for his family, and claiming he wanted Roeper to simply leave Jake... So as he approaches, she waits... As Jake pulls into the driveway of his home, Roeper hears him shut the car door. She waits in her bedroom, still very visibly upset, and her parents are nowhere to be seen or heard. She sits down on the edge of the bed, and looks toward the hallway, knowing soon she'll have to break the news. She looks back over her shoulder, and sees that Mara is still asleep in her crib, a sight that is relaxing in the sense that she knows as long as Mara sleeps, she'll have the opportunity to talk to Jake one on one, without interruptions. Roeper hears the front door open, and Jake come in. Jake closes the door, and begins to look around, confused at the odd sound of silence. Jake Starr: Roeper...? She hears him call out for her, and takes a deep breath, knowing about the conversation that is to come.
Roeper Hart: I'm in the bedroom... Jake turns, and begins to make his way down the hall. His eyes and mind are still mixed with emotion, and Roeper has a deep fear that the emotions she KNOWS are churning through Jake's body will be even harder on her. She fears that, like in the past, work will have come home with him. The stress over the notion begins to cause her more worry and more angst.
She see's Jake's shadow approaching the bedroom, and takes another deep breath. As he enters, he sees her sitting on the bed, and greets her with a half smile. It's the most happiness he can muster. She sees this, and immediately returns the favor, giving him a half smile back. When Jake sees her simply return the look back his way, he immediately begins to think that she's worried that he may explode, or even take his work frustrations out on her. He decides maybe it's best to make a small statement, and leave it at that... Jake Starr: Well... That really didn't go as planned... Roeper slightly nods.
Roeper Hart: Yeah... I saw... Jake Starr: It sucked, to say the least, but I can't say I'm particularly surprised at it. Shawn isn't a man of integrity, and neither are his little lackeys. All I know is everyone saw that I didn't resort to trying to take the easy way out. Roeper Hart: Yeah... I'm sorry it ended that way. I'm sorry the same things happened with Lucas, too. Jake Starr: That one was my own fault. I let Winters distract me, rather than focusing on the match itself. Honestly it's something I've learned from, and I won't let it happen again. Believe me, that one isn't weighing heavily on my mind much at all. Roeper begins to feel slightly relieved.
Roeper Hart: Good... That's a nice change... Jake Starr: Yeah... I'm doing everything in my power not to dwell on things like this. It's hard, but I'm trying. Especially for those to pieces of garbage like Winters, I'm REALLY trying. Roeper just responds with another half smile, and a nod. Jake still assumes she's worried and leery about his mood, and decides to try and shift the conversation to something not pertaining to work as he begins to try and wind down from his travels.
Jake Starr: So how was the "quality time" with the folks? Roeper just looks down at the mattress of the bed. It's a sign that tells Jake something is definitely wrong with his wife. He immediately goes and sits down on the edge of the bed with her, hoping to find out what's going on.
Jake Starr: Honey, is everything ok? Before Jake can even finish asking if everything is ok, Roeper bursts into tears, and falls into Jake's shoulder sobbing. Jake is completely taken aback, and now completely confused as to what's going on. He immediately puts his arms around his wife to hold her.
Jake Starr: Honey, what's wrong?! Roeper does all she can to eek out a few words.
Roeper Hart: You were right! It's situations like these that force Jake to delve into his humor, hoping to quell some, if not all, of the tears.
Jake Starr: I always wanted to hear that... Just not at the expense of you sobbing to admit it. It's a comment that actually gets Roeper to let out a slight chuckle amidst the sobs. She responds by smacking Jake on the shoulder blade, and resumes crying.
Jake Starr: Honey talk to me... What's wrong! Roeper finally begins to fight back the tears, and tries to explain a bit.
Roeper Hart: You were right about my dad... Jake continues to feel confusion surging through his body. He knows everything he's said about Ron has been relatively critical, and pretty much 100% in a negative light.
Jake Starr: Umm... Ok... Well what was I right about? Roeper Hart: Dad being here was like being in hell... Jake quickly retorts without thinking.
Jake Starr: Well I don't doubt that in the least... Roeper fires back.
Roeper Hart: Shut up so I can explain! Jake goes wide-eyed.
Jake Starr: Alright... Roeper Hart: When you left, at first, everything was fine. Sure they were critical about the normal stuff, which I just let roll off my back. I'm used to it, and I just kind of figure that's part of who they are. Well then, we were all watching TV, Mom was playing with Mara, and I decided I wanted to take a bath. As I was getting ready, I heard Dad yell about something, and so I began walking back, and I overheard Dad saying things... Jake Starr: What kind of things? Roeper Hart: Well, to start with, he was overly critical of you, saying you didn't care about me, Mara, or our family. But the one that put me over the edge was when he said that you were cheating on me while on the road... Jake begins to immediately get enraged.
Roeper Hart: ... And so when I heard that, I told him to fuck off, and kicked him out. It was pure hell, and it hurt! Jake's blood begins to boil.
Jake Starr: I can't believe that son of a bitch had the audacity!! Roeper Hart: I know... I have handled it though... Jake cracks his neck from side to side due to the tension that just surged through his body.
Jake Starr: That piece of shit decided to come into my house, and accuse me of cheating? He decided it was HIS FUCKING PLACE to make ANY statements about MY family? What a load of BS! He's been all high and mighty since we met. I've tried to like him, tried to be nice, but no, all he does is rub shit in my face, and TRY to piss me off. Then Alice... Before Jake can go on, Roeper cuts him off.
Roeper Hart: Mom wasn't in on this. It was just Dad. Mom actually was, in all honesty, defending you. Jake is a bit shocked.
Jake Starr: Oh... I figured those two were on the same page about me. Roeper Hart: No... Mom just wants me to be happy. That's all she's ever wanted. She sees that you make me happy, and therefore loves you like the son-in-law that you are. Although the minute you do something to hurt me, she'll change her mind, and you'll be back in the dog house. Jake Starr: That's understandable, but I still can't believe what the fuck he said about me. Roeper Hart: I couldn't either. I knew he wasn't fond of you, but never to the degree he's say something like that. Jake Starr: So did they actually leave? Roeper Hart: I thought they had until Mom called me from a hotel. She made Dad stop there, in the hopes everyone would cool the fuck down, and ultimately be able to talk everything out. Jake Starr: Ron better not step food within the radius of my viewing range if he plans on walking out of this city under his own power. Roeper Hart: Yeah, I felt there was a fat chance of us all coming together as well. I just didn't want to kill my mom's hopes by saying it wouldn't, period. Jake is still visibly fuming, but takes a moment to consider a pow wow.
Jake Starr: I couldn't trust myself in the same vicinity as that man... Not right now... Roeper Hart: I can't say as I blame you... Jake shakes his head, still just utterly disgusted at what he's processing in his mind.
Roeper Hart: What do you think I should do? I love my parents, but I can't let them do this to our family. Jake Starr: I haven't a clue. I don't even know if I could even muster up enough strength to even speak to either of them right now. Roeper Hart: Jake, Mom defended you... Jake Starr: I know... It'd still be difficult not to rip her a new one, just in the hopes she passed it on to him. Roeper Hart: My guess is he's getting that anyway. Mom was appalled at what he was saying, and how he was acting. Jake just shakes his head slowly.
Jake Starr: I just don't know. Considering the fact Alice actually does have my back, I don't want to risk losing that support. Roeper Hart: Just think about it, please? I'm doing the same thing. I don't know if I could do it either, but I promised Mom I'd at least think about it. Jake's shakes turn to slight nods.
Jake Starr: I guess... I can't promise anything, though. Roeper Hart: Just promise me you'll think about it. That's all I want. Jake gives another half smile.
Jake Starr: I can promise that. All of the commotion finally riles Mara up out of her nap. Jake looks over, and then back at Roeper.
Jake Starr: Sorry bout that... Roeper Hart: It's ok... It's time for her to get up anyway. She's been napping for a while, and probably needs to eat and play some, otherwise she won't sleep tonight. Jake leans forward, and kisses Roeper on the forehead. He wraps his arms around her one more time.
Jake Starr: Everything is ultimately going to be ok, babe... Roeper takes the brief moment to enjoy the affection.
Roeper Hart: I know... I just wish none of this had ever happened. Jake Starr: That makes two of us! With those last words to his wife, Roeper stands up and goes to pick Mara up out of her crib. She takes her out to the kitchen to begin feeding her, while Jake takes another hard, deep, breath, and tries to get a sense of normalcy around his house, by going back to unpacking his travel bag.
This whole ordeal just adds another mound of frustration, worry, and uneasiness to Jake's mind, and he knows that if he's going to not lose his mind, lose his sanity, and potentially have some issue with losing his family, he's going to have to figure out the best course of action to do so, and with his professional life on the ropes as well, he knows he's going to have to do all of this in a hurry. As the scene begins to fade in, a glass is seen, half filled with water, and sitting on a desk. Distorted by the water, but still recognizable is Jake Starr, whose head is lying on the desk, staring directly at the glass. There is a definite look of confusion, worry, sadness, and all-around negativity in his eyes as he gazes upon the stationary glass. Without looking into the camera, he just begins to talk, knowing everything is being picked up.
Jake Starr: When you all look at this, why don't you tell me what you see, because truthfully, there are only two possibilities here. You're only going to be in one of two camps. It's either half empty, or it's half full. It's a concept that has historically shown someone to be either an optimist or a pessimist about a particular situation. It's been a generalized test to really gauge someone's viewpoint of the world. So the question is, where do you fit in? Is it half empty, or is it half full? Is the world looking good, or looking bad? How about this, where do I fit in? Am I an optimist or a pessimist? What do I see when I look at this cup of water? I'll tell you what I see. What I see, I can easily tell everyone about. What I see, when I look at this, is a cup with half a cup of water in it. It's sometimes half empty, it's sometimes half full. It depends on what I'm thinking about, especially now. Now, instead of looking at this, and seeing it one way or another, I see it both ways. I apparently am blessed with the best of both worlds. Is it something I want or like? No. I don't like being indecisive. I don't like not knowing about how I feel overall. I don't like having that comfortable feeling. Instead, I'm stuck. Instead of being able to make a decision, nope, I can't. Trust me, it sucks. There are times, in life, when I don't mind being indecisive. When it comes to picking dinner, I don't mind struggling to make a decision. When it comes to picking a present for my wife for Christmas or her birthday, I don't mind being torn between option A and option B. But unfortunately, this isn't one of those times where I like it. My mind, right now, is torn between should I be happy, should I be bummed, should I be proud, should I even care anymore, or should I just move on? I just don't know. You see, when I see this glass as half full, I think about the fact that I did what I had hoped. I went out at Under Attack, and ultimately caused Shawn Winters ANY hope of retaining his World Championship. I went out there, I beat him down, I hurt him, I made him forever remember what it was like to face me inside that ring. I also went out there, and I kept my word. I made it about he and I. I didn't stoop down to the level he did, and actually have to ask for help, ultimately admitting he can't do it on his own. When I think about the fact Greaternity came out and beat me down, I smile, actually. I think about the fact they admitted that their hero, their "awesome" leader, was incapable of winning on his own. I also smile knowing that it's now on HIS shoulders to try and explain that he could have beaten me without Greaternity, yet opted to have them come down, while I made everyone on my side PROMISE ME they would stay in the back. I proved that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Shawn Winters is a coward, a fake, a phony, and incapable of doing "the deed" by himself. It makes me happy to realize that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I'm the better MAN. It's a victory that Shawn Winters handed me on a silver platter, and cannot deny. He couldn't do it on his own, and if he wants anyone to believe it, he has to try and convince people... Not me! Having said that, it's not always pretty flowers and beautiful horizons when I look at this glass. It's also very, very, VERY half empty. When I walked into Under Attack, I thought Shawn Winters would be a man. I thought he would want to prove that he was this wannabe "heart and soul" of Supreme Championship Wrestling, fight me like a man, and either suffer the loss like a man, or beat me like a man. Instead, he did just like I said. He admitted he was going to call in the troops, admitted he was going to have Greaternity come down, and admitted he was going to be a child. I hoped he was doing what he did yes, and just talking out his ass, but instead, he proved me wrong. He proved to me he isn't worthy of the respect many give him. I lost to a man who cheated, and couldn't beat me like a man, and honestly it upsets me. It upsets me to think that a man who has built himself up to be this "legend," can't do what LEGENDS are supposed to do. He showed me he's no champion. And sadly, I lost to a man who, from now on, no matter what belts he ever wins, will NEVER be a champion by my consideration EVER again. I lost to an ingrate, a punk, a failure, a fake, and an embarrassment. But the frustration doesn't end there. See, let me give everyone a rundown of what Winters is going to be doing. He's going to come out cocky, if he even comes out at all. He's going to come out bragging about how he beat me, how he's probably done with me, how he's proved himself against me, blah blah blah, and he's going to run his mouth. He's going to say how he proved he was better than me, and he's going to act holier than thou. If he doesn't, he'll vanish, make up an excuse of why he needs to go on a break, and in a six months to a year, or so, he'll do the same and run his mouth then. Nevertheless, he's that much of a predictable dolt, and one of those scenarios will happen. He's that self-absorbed. So yeah... It's a cup with half of a cup of water in it. Was it full before, and now is half empty? Was it empty, and now is half full? It's a question that, truthfully, I don't have an answer for. Or if I do, it's simply, "Yes." Jake finally rises his head up from lying on the desk, behind the glass. For the first time, he looks up directly into the camera.
I guess the next question is, what do I do next? Do I keep going after Winters, let this whole thing draw out even longer, frustrate myself because now, I guarantee you, we will either see Winters go into some stupid little feud with another figment of the imagination, Chad Evans, or he'll go into ANOTHER feud with Shilo. So either way, you'll either have two guys never utter a peep, or you'll get... Jake points over at a supposed wall off camera. He then looks in the same direction he points.
Oh wait hang on, for all of you standing over there in front of that fourth wall, you may want to move, because it's about to be tumbling down! Jake pretends to watch people walk away from the imaginary "fourth wall." He follows their "path" from in front of it, to now behind the camera.
Ok good! Jake then returns his eyes to the camera lens itself.
So yeah, you'll either hear nothing because two guys will become mimes and never utter a peep, like they seemingly do, well one more so than the other, or you'll hear the same set of promos you heard before, only this time, since Shilo is now bored of being a "face," as the kayfabe term goes, you'll get "Heel Shilo." So, he'll just insult fans, insult cities, mock fans, or something of the sorts. You know, much like what Winters does. He'll placate the fans and the "good guys," and it'll probably be one of those things we're all forced to sit through for MONTHS, rather than getting it over with, since the masses really could give two shits about it, and are tired of Winters and Shilo. Jake's eyes immediately shift back to the "crumbled mess" that he just raised.
Alright, you guys can begin piecing it back together again... Again, Jake's eyes return to the camera.
I guess we still don't have an answer, do we, to what I do next. That's because I truly don't have a fucking clue. I'm torn. I'm debating if I'm done with Winters, solely because it was one of those things that he drug out too fucking long, and drove me to the point of having ZERO fucking interest in it anymore. I'm sorry, it's true. The asshole drug it out for so long, that I began to contemplate if he was even worth the effort and my time. I had to sit there and listen to Greaternity continually act like the human centipede, eating the shit from one another's asshole, while subsequently shitting into the mouths of someone behind them. It disgusted me to no end... So it's something, I suppose, I'd have to think about. Sure, hearing that will make Shawn think I'm scared of him, can't handle a rematch, whatever. He can think whatever. If someone could walk up to me and say, "Jake, you fight Winters again on this date, period," then you know, I would take it, and run with it. I wouldn't have to deal with the "will he, or won't he" drama that reminds me of an after school fight in junior high, where you're wondering if the other guy will even have the guts to show. I'm tired of that kind of crap, so to SCW booking guys, or whoever draws these things out, if you're going to make me wait, or play the whole, "let's frustrate Jake game," again, forget it. I pass. If you're going to give me a shot, make Greaternity a non-factor, and be grown ups about it, then I'm game. So see, quite torn. I want something, but truthfully, not at the expense of what I have to go through personally. Jake reaches out and wraps his hands around the glass, that has been acting as the metaphor for his mindset. He lifts it up, and holds it close to his face, briefly examining it quite closely.
With all that being said, what's next for me also makes me wonder if it's a half full or half empty glass. Is it half full in the sense that I only have room to go up, because I've faced two tough losses, both of which are questionable? Is it positive in the sense that everyone saw what happened, and if I go out there and win again, everyone will realize they were flukes? Or is it still the same negative half empty glass, showing that I can't overcome the odds, and I must resign myself to being at that "Jason Zero" status, where you are a big name, and just don't win the big matches anymore? I guess I find out at Breakdown, huh? I guess I get my reality check about this when I go into a match with a guy who, at Under Attack, was actually blessed with a match where he got to vie for a championship. I fight a contender, someone higher on the imaginary ladder than myself, and I guess if I lose, I face the reality that maybe I just have reached the end of my rope, and the end of my quest to be a major player. If I win, maybe it reminds me that I was beaten twice, in questionable scenarios. I don't know. I just know I'm fighting a number. I'm fighting someone who considers himself the "Angel of Death." I'm fighting someone who, honestly, I don't particularly know a crap ton about. All I know is the unlucky number is someone who can take a beating. I know he's someone who looks like hell, looking like he has had fun having razor blades thrown at him, which is a disturbing thought all in itself. But that little bit tells me Thirteen isn't going to be someone who is just going to happily say, "hey Jake, I hear you're having a rough go, how about I lie down, you get an easy win, and we go play a game of checkers instead?" He's going to be someone who has worked his way up the ladder to earn a shot at the United States Championship, and is now trying to do it again. He's someone who is ready to fight, I would bet, and honestly, I hope that it's a fight that I don't decide to take a day off for, AGAIN! So my plan is to try and walk into Breakdown looking at the glass as half full for as long as possible. I plan on walking in, hoping to finally rebound, and do so in a fashion that begins to earn me SOMETHING. I've been battling some of the SCW elite, beating them, and I got it all pulled out from under me because of Greaternity. It's NOT because of the fact Shawn Winters was LUCKY and had his buddies pin me, but because of the fact he had to have help to do it. I went out and posted wins that should have gotten me a little more credibility than I've received. So I'm going into Breakdown with the goal of wanting to make an example of Thirteen, and making another statement. I want everyone to realize that I am still a factor. If I can't prove it, then it's something that, well, will be a half empty glass-sized pill I don't want to swallow. Did this answer the question, though? Did it give everyone an insight to me? Do those answers say I'm an optimist or a pessimist? Does it make me odd that I don't have a finite point of view on this whole matter? I sure as hell don't have the answers for you. So is this glass half empty or is it really half full? I don't know. All I know is it's a glass with water in it. So I guess maybe if anything, I may not be an optimist, I may not be a pessimist, instead, I'm a realist. Life isn't black and white. It's a constant grey area we all live in. At any point in time, it's either a little darker, or a little lighter. So that's what Breakdown will be for me. It'll be a day where maybe, just maybe, I go in there, beat the holy living hell out of a masochist who gets off from pain, and right this ship. Or... Maybe I go in, slip up a third time, and question myself even further? Realistically, my world is either going to get a darker shade of gray, or have a break in the clouds, and show me some sunlight. Either way, good or bad, I promise it doesn't bode well for anyone who decides to cross me. Jake pulls the glass back toward his eyes, examining it closely one more time.
Half empty? Half full? Jake then takes a big gulp of the water, emptying the vessel.
Nah... Just an empty fucking glass, with nothing in it, no substance, and no meaning. With those final words, Jake slams the glass back on his desk, stands up, and immediately makes a b-line out of frame, and presumably out of the room. The camera begins to slowly, and dramatically, zoom in on the glass, fading to black in the process.
Fin |
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