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When Jake Starr brings his crew on a "vacation," things are never going to be as they seem. It began with trips to the circus, with Jake in search of Shilo Valiant, took a turn across the pond to London, as Jake decided he wanted to acclimate himself to a life in the "Underground," and then took a turn back to the US, this time to a bar that ultimately lead to Jake getting revenge on his buddies for dressing him like a stripper, and putting him on "the pole."
This time promises to be no different... After leaving U. S. soil, the trio made their way out of the country again, this time to a location not yet known to the general public, but very much known by Jake, Tommy, David, and their two fellow travelers on this trip. Upon landing on the foreign soil, they immediately made their way to their awaiting limousine for a night on the town, enjoying the bright lights, the big city, and many of the luxuries it has to offer. It was a mission for Jake to do just that. He wanted to surround himself with his friends, and have a good time, while also soaking up the culture. It's this culture, Jake believes, that will give him that extra bit of insight into the mind and abilities of his opponent, Shawn Winters. It's something Jake feels has helped him in the past, most notably with his adventure to London. It allowed him to immerse himself into an unfamiliar lifestyle, and really adopt it as his own, and while he's not looking to become a partying frat boy, he is looking to try and comprehend the mentality that one of the famed leaders of that group of people. So it was a night of debauchery amongst the group. They did what they felt was their fair share of partying it up, and living the lifestyle of the culture. It was a small price to pay the morning they all woke up, with every sound echoing in their head as if being played through a massive megaphone. It was an immersion that made eating breakfast difficult, and the day just trudge on. Nevertheless, it was something they knew they were there to do. After spending the better part of the day sleeping off hangovers, praying to the porcelain Gods, and ultimately hoping nobody ended up with penis tattoos on their bodies, evening beckons them to meet. They have converged ready to shoot their special video of this spectacular event, immersed in culture! They make their way out of the hotel, a feat that they all agree is an accomplishment in itself, alive, and make their way toward a park they located the night before. Jake had them all promise to remember this, if they forgot everything else, as he thought it would be the perfect backdrop to their film, and thankfully they all did just that! As everyone assumes their position, Jake hands the camera over to David, who begins to fumble with it, trying to turn it on. Jake quickly notices that Helms is having issue with the electronics... Jake Starr: Give it here, I can turn it on! Tommy does the same.
Tommy Valentine: No, give it here, I got it... They all continue to fiddle, trying button after button, hoping one will finally switch it on. It's a problem everyone swears they have the correct answer to.
Jake Starr: ... If you'd just give it here, I can do this... Tommy Valentine: No, you're not even close, you have to set it to record first! As the two argue, Helms finally resorts to trying the manual, but quickly stumbles across an issue.
David Helms: I'd tell you both how to operate the God damn thing if I could read Dutch! Jake Starr: Yeah, and all I speak is English and Jive! From behind Helms, a rather recognizable voice chimes in.
Voice: Hey now! Jake looks in the direction of the voice, and quickly defends himself.
Jake Starr: Hey! I watched "Airplane" enough damn times to become fluent! After a few more moments of fiddling, amongst the three, the red light finally comes on, signifying it is recording. Helms immediately pulls it up, and points it in Jake's direction, making sure Jake appears on his little screen. Upon seeing that it is, in fact, work, Helms exclaims.
David Helms: Sweet!!! Jake looks up at Helms.
Jake Starr: So I take it that it's working? Helms peeks out from behind the camera.
David Helms: No... I just exclaim like a little girl for fun at random points in my life. Jake Starr: I believe it! Helms makes an earlier response a, now, trending one.
David Helms: Hey now! Jake grins.
Jake Starr: Hey... It was a softball man, I couldn't resist! So... We rolling? Helms simply nods toward Jake, slightly nodding the camera as well by accident. It's this validation of their taping that gives Jake the ultimate cue to begin.
Jake Starr: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Welcome to Jake Starr's day where I officially do something nobody else has truly never done. Today I fully delve into the mind and the lifestyle of, yes, you guessed it, Shawn Winters. See, many have faced the man, some of them have been successful, others have not. None of them, however, have gone to the extremes I am going to today, in order to achieve this goal... Jake raises his arms to the side, as if presenting the background, and begins to wait for a wide shot of the background behind him. He begins looking around, having not seen Helms reach for the zoom button, and is forced to inquire.
Uhh... Are we in a wide shot yet? Helms realizes he's missed his cue.
David Helms: OH! Oops! Helms zooms out, revealing a stunning backdrop of modern and older buildings, tourists galore, and a scene that speaks for itself. He then immediately gives Jake the cue to welcome their viewers.
Jake Starr: That's right folks... WELCOME TO AMSTERDAM! You see, my opponent, Shawn Winters, is a man who is in, not just a fraternity, but a Greatenity. It is a fraternity that's GREAT... If you didn't get their little play on words. Shawn is also a man who has prided himself on being a real party animal, living the lifestyle of a guy's guy, and doing his best to be wrestling's version of Van Wilder. Unfortunately, unlike Van Wilder, Winters has never really succeeded in his goals of truly partying it up to the nth degree like he portrays. Nevertheless, like I said, I'm getting into the mindset of Winters, and going to make sure I'm more ready to face him, than anyone else has in the history of SCW. I've elected to come here, a city known for it's party scene, and decided to immerse myself in the lifestyle long enough to find just exactly what type of partying it is, that Winters is a master of. So that's what I did! It's been an interesting experience, thus far. Seriously, it has. I mean, it's Amsterdam, a city where many vices can be satisfied. I came here, and my immersion has definitely been something that has opened my eyes to many new trends in culture that I was not quite aware existed, nor was I aware were as popular as they seemingly are on a global scale. It's been a mad crazy experience, and I hope to show you, the home view, the fan of SCW, the curious humanoid who sees Winters make all of these bold claims, and yet, never really shows finite proof of them, what they're like. I hope that, when you see what I've seen, you'll see Shawn Winters in a brand new light, and one that makes far better sense than before... So let's begin, shall we? Jake turns and begins walking across the park to the line of buildings behind him. He turns and smiles at the camera, and then points, showing senses of feigned and sarcastic excitement. As they get closer, it's obvious they're approaching a line of a bars, all vying to get patrons and locals alike to enter their drinking establishment.
As they get within earshot of one of the bars, Jake turns back toward the camera for another full-frontal shot. Example number one, we have this local establishment, which Tommy, David, and I all decided to indulge in, and is one that all "frat boys" seemingly love to partake in. This establishment, named something Dutch I can't pronounce, is one that I hoped would show me how Winters likes to party. I mean, we've all seen him talk about partying, right? We've all seen him say how they're Greaternity. So, surely, this would be the end of my search, and I could learn about Winters, right? It's that easy, right? Let's go inside! Follow me! Jake makes an overly dramatic "follow me" motion with his right arm, and follows the momentum, turning around and making his way toward the entrance. As Jake and his make-shift horde enter, many of the local patrons look over at the tourist, and give him strange looks. None are quite sure why he is filming, or what his purpose is there.
Jake begins to walk around, pointing at random people, bending down to smile with some of them, and ultimately coming to pause in front of the bartender, who is also a bit befuddled as to the reasoning for their presence. As Jake looks over at him, the bartender, who speaks English overlaid with an extremely thick Dutch accent, welcome Jake to his establishment. Bartender: Welcome, sir! I am glad to see you've come back again. I am curious though, why are you filming? Jake Starr: Well, you see, I've come from America, like I told you last night, looking to take part in the "partying" culture that is Amsterdam... I mean, why else would you come here, right? It's for a good time! Bartender: Ya! Jake Starr: And in America, the bar scene is a partier's dream world, so I figured it had to be ten times greater here, know what I mean? Bartender: Oh! Ya! Ya! Well you are welcome to hang around as long as you want. Jake Starr: I appreciate it good sir, but I don't think we'll be staying too long! The bartender begins speaking Dutch to all of the locals explaining the situation, ultimately telling them Jake is a friend who should be treated well by all. The patrons, who now understand what Jake is doing, all begin smiling, nodding, raising their glasses toward him, and various other signs showing him respect and welcome in their city and bar. Jake returns the signals with smiles, winks, nods, finger pointing, high fives to some, and even a hug to one of the older women who's obviously seen her better days.
After briefly filming the attitudes and personalities of those inside, Jake then turns back toward the camera, and begins speaking again. You see, I quickly realized that this wasn't the place to truly learn about Winters. I need somewhere that oozes ego, and where I feel like I'm surrounded by sweaty, single, men. This place, well, doesn't have that. More importantly, both times we've all been in here, I haven't found one douche! You know what that tells me... Any insinuation by Winters that he drinks a lot to "party it up" is a load of bullshit! So... Idea number one, epic fail! Jake then walks toward and ultimately past the camera, making his way back outside. Helms, still holding the camera, films a couple more people as he leaves, with Tommy close behind.
I guess that moves us back to el drawing board... Or however they say it in Dutch... So the question I ask now is, where now? What else could I do fully figure out what it takes to get inside the mind of a party animal? What else does Amsterdam have to offer, that could possibly be considered something that would constitute a "partying" lifestyle? David slowly begins to pan the camera over to the right, having seen a possibility earlier as they were approaching. Next to the bar, is one of Amsterdam's famous "coffee shops." Jake, realizing Helms has begun to focus in on something behind him, looks over his shoulder and sees the shop.
Dude... I seriously don't think Winters is some long-haired beatnik, who frequents coffee shops! David now realizes Jake is a bit uneducated to the goings on inside the Amsterdam shops.
David Helms: Jake, umm, coffee shops in Amsterdam is where they sell their weed to tourists! Jake Starr: I thought those were head shops? Tommy Valentine: That's what they are in the States, man... Helms them begins panning around the outside of the shop, where several tables sit with umbrellas shading them. He finds one set of "coffee drinkers," enjoying a frothy beverage and a nice smoke. The pair look mighty relaxed, and enjoying the evening. Jake decides to slowly approach the couple, and as he gets within a couple feet of the table, he begins to observe their behavior. He cocks his head to the side, seemingly confused, and then turns back to the camera showing a DEFINITE state of confusion. He then repeats the process, only faster and faster, until he finally must inquire to Helms about what he sees.
Jake Starr: Umm... Is this considered "partying?" David Helms: Some people consider it to be an integral part of the partying lifestyle, dude... Jake takes another look back at the pair, who seemingly are quite unaware they're the subject of a tourist's curiosity, until one finally looks over and sees Jake staring at them. They simply smile and wave, acting very mellowed out. This frustrates the former World Champion.
Jake Starr: Well this isn't helpful in the least! I mean, Winters is a guy who runs his mouth, thinks his shit doesn't stink, loves himself so much he tells Ace to call himself "Shawn" while giving him a prostate massage, and is a complete ingrate. These guys here simply sit around, contemplate the manufacturing process of Pop Tarts, and munch on any snack food they can get their hands on. These guys have deeper thoughts that Shawn has had in his entire life existence. Hell, they've had more intelligent thoughts than the entire collective of Greaternity! How is this supposed to help me? I need something to dumb me down to Winters's level, not continue to elevate me, or quite frankly force me to dig deeper into my own psyche. I need something that will help me understand what it's like to be a pea-brained idiot! I mean, that's what these "fraternity" types are like, right? I mean they walk around critiquing women, playing beer pong, dropping marshmallows out of their assholes, eating "ookie cookies," and then having massive circle jerks, and these guys behind me, they closest they come to that is getting a bag of "good shit," that makes pretty colors or Jesus appear. David Helms: Well dude, you asked what this country had to offer, and I simply found it! Tommy Valentine: Yeah... There are a lot of people I've known over the years who think this is quite a party! Jake Starr: This is a party reserved for guys jamming to the sounds of the Grateful Dead or Pink Floyd! Tommy Valentine: ... But still involve more women than a party with Winters! Jake goes wide-eyed at the dig.
Jake Starr: ZING! From behind the camera, Helms is heard chuckling too.
Tommy Valentine: Man, that was too easy to pass up... Jake Starr: You know, pseudo-speaking of sex, I can say I've heard men and women rave about sex while high. They say it's a trip, pardon the pun. Conversely I've just heard Winters rave about sex with women nobody's ever seen! David Helms: ZING! With Jake's dig, evening turns into nightfall around the group. Jake continues to look around, determined to find the right "solution" to his problem.
Jake Starr: Alright... I need to find SOMETHING that would make me feel like a party animal... With night falling, Helms pans around looking for ideas. With nightfall in Amsterdam, infamy arises, as the red lights begin to illuminate the famous Red Light District. Jake, still looking around, notices the lights coming on as well. He quickly turns back toward the camera with a sly grin on his face.
Well then! There is some definite debauchery just waiting to happen! I believe we should investigate! Tommy takes this moment to exercise his "babysitting" duties.
Tommy Valentine: I think maybe not! Jake Starr: Why? Tommy Valentine: Primarily because I don't think Roeper would have a favorable opinion of you partaking in sex with European whores... Jake sticks one finger in the air, pantomiming the "I had an idea" look.
Jake Starr: AH! Good point! I wouldn't have done that anyway! Besides, Winters wouldn't be caught dead there... Way too much vagina around! That is unless they have a section for hairy men and trannies... Tommy Valentine: That I wouldn't know! Jake Starr: Well thank God for that! Jesus there has to be something around here that'll get me into the mind of a party animal... From off camera, the voice from earlier speaks up again.
Voice: You know, maybe I could be of some assistance?! Jake looks over wide-eyed, grins, and returns his view to the camera.
Jake Starr: Man... I almost forgot! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a couple more examples that maybe, just maybe, will do me the honor of getting inside the head of Shawn Winters. See, when I came to Amsterdam, I didn't just bring my pals, I brought others. I brought people who truly knew what a life of partying is about, and maybe, just maybe, if Amsterdam couldn't give me the right examples, these guys could help do so... Voice: Hit da music! All of a sudden music begins to play, obviously in the middle of a song. As it approaches the hook, Helms pans the camera over, and with microphone in hand, the man himself, Eddie Murphy, begins to serenade the world with one of the greatest songs of the 80s.
My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time She parties all the time - party all the time She likes to party all the time - party all the time Jake begins to dance along, then the lyrics of the song sink in, and Jake freezes.
Jake Starr: Hey, hey! Cut the music! The music scratches to a halt, with Eddie a bit annoyed at the fact he was cut off.
... Did you just say "my girl?" Eddie simply nods.
Well hell, that doesn't help then! How many times do I have to say that Winters, plus girls, if you put it into a calculator, would turn up "ERROR" because it's just not possible? Eddie yells back at Jake.
Eddie Murphy: Do I needs to remind you of my personal tranny insicdent? This inquiry is met with a very awkward silence.
That alone proves I can party with the best of them, INCLUDING this Winters cat! That motherfucker don't got NOTHING on me! I invented questionable partying ALL THE TIME! Jake finally throws his two cents in.
Jake Starr: I personally blame it on Rick James's influence! Tommy can't resist the urge to throw a question of his own out there.
Tommy Valentine: Did your questionable partying all the time ever involve bestiality on the set of "Doctor Dolittle?" Jake goes wide-eyed again, having never thought about that.
Jake Starr: Great point, Tommy! Eddie, if this is true, we FINALLY found something to work with... So... Comment? Eddie is more than annoyed.
Eddie Murphy: You motherfuckers can all kiss my ass! I never fucked any kind of animal in my life! Transexuals, maybe! Wilbur from "Charlotte's Web," not so much! Jake Starr: Well shit... Jake begins to get frustrated yet again, realizing Eddie could partially help with his experience with the SheMales of the world. Jake thinks to himself if he wanted only that input, he'd have simply kidnapped Ace Marshall!
Finally, another voice, this one new, chimes in, offering his assistance. Party Boy: You know... I might be able to help some too! Helms pans the camera back, where Chris Pontius, of Jackass fame, has now walked into the frame.
I definitely heard someone say party! David is the first to know where this is going.
David Helms: Oh no! Pontius reaches down beside him, and pushes play on a large, 1980s style boombox, and immediately strips down to his ill-fitting underwear. He begins to dance around to his infamous party music, with his shlong on continually on the verge of sneaking out the edge.
Eddie can't help but chime in. Eddie Murphy: Hmm... if he had a wig on, he'd be pretty cute! Jake begins to grin a bit.
Jake Starr: Now we're at a true "Greaternity" level of gayness! Party Boy: PARTY!!!! Jake shrugs.
Jake Starr: Oh hell, why not? Eddie and Party Boy have commenced dancing together in the background. Jake begins to "party dance" a bit himself, and Helms quickly joins in. This is only figured out by the apparent homage to "The Blair Witch Project," and the now seizure-inducing shaky cam.
After a bit of dancing, Jake motions toward Helms to stop as well. Helms doesn't catch the signal, and continues on. Jake approaches the camera and smacks him in the arm, easily catching his attention now. David Helms: Oh... Sorry... Jake just shakes his head, and points to himself. He knows that now is the appropriate time to talk about Winters, even with the music playing, and the slightly distracting images of Party Boy and Eddie Murphy dancing in the background.
Jake Starr: So did you see all of that Shawn? Did you see me go and dissect you piece by piece? Did you see how I got inside your brain, and really figured you out? Of course you didn't! It's called humor, stupid! Did you really think that I thought you were so pea-brained, that a trip to Amsterdam would give me a real edge against you? Did you really think I was naive enough to believe that you were capable of being decoded simply by partying? Did you even pay attention, or was it nap time at the frat house? Nevertheless... Shawn, what I was trying to show here, had a point, a very direct one at that. Since I've even known of your existence, you've portrayed yourself as this playboy. You're this Tony Stark wannabe, only without the actual money, game, girls, or fancy suit that turns you into a human weapon. Instead you're the equivalent of a little boy. You're a little boy who has talked such a big game his ENTIRE LIFE, that everyone believes what it is you dish out. You're a one-trick pony, who has used his slimy tongue to get ahead, and people finally just started to believe you. Whether it was because you annoyed the living hell out them, and they figured they'd just play along to shut you up, or you have some sort of magical power to convince people of these farces, I don't have a clue. But if you think for one second you're better than me because of it, you've officially bought too much into your own game. It's no question you've "gotten to me" Shawn. There is no doubt that you got under my skin, and rubbed me wrong. I'm not too proud to admit it. But at the same time, you brought out a fire inside me that has been RAGING for some time. Instead of manning up, you've hidden. You've continued to play off this "party boy" persona, had Ace Marshall running around tossing your salad, and continued to find ways to avoid me. You sent out EVERYTHING you had. You sent EVERYONE you could think of. Well, I take that back! The only things you opted out of was trying to suck back up to Alex Jr., and having Ace stop giving you a nice rimmer because you enjoyed it so much. But you sent everything else. You sent your kitchen sink my way. You sent Allocco, you sent Lad, you hoped that one of them would be able to shut me down, and when they failed, it all began to sink in. Everything you had done, and figured that, like always, you'd just get away with, was going to come back and haunt you. You were going to be forced to pay for what you did. You saw the writing on the wall. So what did you do? Did you man up, and come at me, hoping to put a sense of fear into me? No... Instead you decided to play it off, like having you and I face off was this grand idea, to give you an even better shot of retaining your championship. Why? As you said, it's only me. Instead of being one of many, in your mind, you're going to be able to walk out to the ring with me, dance around the ring like the fairy you are, tell me to lie down, expect me to obey, and be nice and warmed up for your big title defense. I mean, you are ungodly great, and all, right? See Shawn, this is where you got yourself in trouble before. You've begun to, well, bet a little too big for your panties, AGAIN. It began when you called me out, knowing I couldn't retaliate, and then playing it off like I was the one scared. It was a story only you bought. Now, you're the live and blood of SCW. You're the heart and soul. EVERYONE is only here because the wondrous Shawn Winters has blessed us all with his presence. Well how about this news flash DUMBASS... Remember back in 2009, when you LOST the SCW Championship? Oh, you've conveniently forgotten, huh? Well let me refresh yours and everyone around you's memory banks, shall I? Shawn touched on it, but he seemingly said he didn't want to "spoil" the truths. So, umm... Yeah... I will! We ready? ... All strapped in? ... Ace in his booster seat, pretending he's a grownup again, while actually looking like Maggie in the opening of "The Simpsons?" Good! I'm glad! Rise to Greatness, 2009. It's a day that has stood out in my mind since Winters decided to try and put himself off as the "big boy" he thinks he is. It's the day that James Exeter, a man who is one of the best of the best that I've EVER competed in the ring against, was able to capture the World Championship by defeating Shawn Winters. It was a night where many were shocked, some were in awe, others knew Exeter had it in him, and then you had Shawn Winters and his buddies. Shawn was DEVASTATED. He was MORTIFIED. He was, well, crying, if memory serves me right. He was humbled by someone whom he and his cronies believed didn't stand a chance at beating him. He had run his mouth, assumed winning was just a "given," and ultimately lost. Instead of being the "life blood," and the "champion" that he has portrayed himself to be, what did he do? Did he bounce back, and begin trying to reclaim his gold, you know, that he should have never lost to begin with? Did he rise up in the face of adversity, and get Exeter back for his undoing? Nah, not really. Now, I know what you're asking yourself, "But Jake, he's ungodly, and really, really, ridiculously, good looking, so of course he just was handed the next shot, and reclaimed it, right?" Again, nah... Not so much! Shawn elected to do what any "heart and soul" does when it feels a palpitation or arrhythmia coming on, he took his ball and left! Yes, that's right. The self-proclaimed "life blood of SCW" left. He went home to mommy and pouted like the sourpuss he is. Now, to me, that doesn't sound like a champion. It doesn't sound like a man who represents the "heart and soul" of SCW. That would be a man who is willing to put it ALL on the line, risk everything he has, and do it all IN THE NAME of SCW. It's not for personal pride. It's not for accolades or recognition. It's for the right to say "SCW is the best, and I'm willing to defend it with everything I have." And guess what, asshole, THAT'S WHAT I DID! It's something you've failed to recognize. SCW, when you left, lived on proudly. It toppled IWC, and became the prominent wrestling organization. It didn't suffer because the "great" Shawn Winters had decided he didn't want to play anymore, so where do you get off? Where do you get off thinking Mr. D actually thinks YOU, yes YOU, are the one who holds this ship together? Are you that wrapped up in yourself, and have such a little clue of reality that you really buy into that garbage? Daddy D didn't make the match with me in order to protect you, and ensure your reign as "king" continues. He didn't book you against me, so you have an easier time, you asshat. Seriously... What rock did you just crawl out from under? Sure, he isn't out there rewarding me, and saying, "let bygones be bygones," because that'd just be silly. He damn sure isn't walking out there saying, "Mmm, Ace can I taste that too," either! Hello! Anybody home? Jake makes a pantomime of a knocking motion.
Knock knock!!! You're such a... Wow... Jake takes a deep breath, and looks behind him, as Eddie Murphy and Party Boy are still dancing the night away. Jake turns back toward the camera and takes a couple more deep breaths, trying to regain his composure, and also ensure he gets all of his points across.
But what you are, everyone knows, Shawn. Everyone knows you're a self-centered, egotistical, ass, who thinks people who've never had success in SCW actually deserve championship matches before anyone else. We all know that. But what you're also showing us, and this, I don't think, was your intention, is the fact you literally have zero brain cells. Because you are going off, trying to say that this is my "Cinderella Moment," that I've needed, all along, to validate my career. Two SCW World Championships, longest reigning Adrenaline Champion in SCW history, Underground Champion, Tag Team Champion, SCW Rookie of the Year, SCW Superstar of the Year, and an IWC World Championship mixed in there apparently tell me nothing, even though you seemingly remember them just as well as I do, yet claim I need validation... But apparently, I must face GOD HIMSELF... Jake pauses, and looks down to the side confused. He mumbles slightly to himself, but it's overheard by the camera.
Didn't I already DO that, AND win? Hmm... Odd... Jake shakes off the confused feeling, then looks back up at the camera and continues.
Well Shawn, I guess I get that chance. You see, you were right, I have gunned for you since day one. But the minute you lost your World Championship, you ran away like a girl who just got her hair pulled. You had to go tattle that someone else gave you a boo boo, and you didn't come back until over a year later. So, yeah, you went somewhere. You ran away once, and when I came back, GUESS WHAT, history DID repeat itself... Does Allocco and Lad ring ANY bells to you? Do you have the mind of a goldfish? Can you not remember something that YOU ORCHESTRATED? Jesus it's like dealing with an infant sometimes! They're the only ones I have EVER encountered in the past who literally do something on purpose, poop their pants, and then subsequently forget about it 10 minutes later... But that's beside the point! What nobody seems to understand is why I'm so frustrated, why I want respect so badly, and why I've been gunning for this match since day one. For Shawn, it's validation. In his screwed up head, I REALLY want to be him. Hell, everyone SHOULD, if you ask him. He also thinks it's just because I had a bit of a slide, and yet again seems to forget that his "fool-proof plans" that were going to deter me both failed. For others, it's for my ego. Nobody quite knows why I want this respect so badly, and yet, everyone speculates. So here, let me explain. Let me let everyone into the inner psyche of Jake Starr a bit. I want this respect because of the love I have for this business. I want the respect from EVERYONE for what I've done, and CAN do going forward. I want that respect because I know the storied history of SCW. I want my name associated with it, and synonymous. You know how sickening it is to see some of the names that are out there? Seriously! It's disheartening! So there you have it! Mystery solved. Winters, you can call off Jessica Fletcher and Matlock from the case, you have answers. It's not because of all of the nit-picky ways you tried to show off your point. It's not because I actually gave The Redeemer some credibility after I got to enjoy him putting one of those lovely tick marks in Porno Lad's loss column. If you understood respect, and understood what it takes to get ahead, then you wouldn't have mistaken my comments, or as you say, "read between the lines." I always have believed in myself, I just have grown enough as a human fucking being to know that I can also be humble, and give credit where it's due. At one point in my career in SCW, I thought you deserved it. I thought you were one of those guys who was synonymous with this business. But now, hearing you talk more and more, having you let us into your brain more and more, it tells me you're nothing of the sort. You're no better than the nobodies I defeated on my way to the Adrenaline Championship. You're just a dick! However, you're a dick who did just as I had hoped. You gave me the insight. You showed me who you really are. You gave up the truth about Shawn Winters. You're merely a man who has to grasp at straws to find your way. You adopted a "party boy" mentality when you found a couple clowns who were dumb enough to think you were the greatest thing since two-ply toilet paper. You truthfully don't know what you're dealing with, and it scares you. You've gone as far as attributing this match to pity because you know the dangers you're in. You think that it's just to shut me up once and for all. It shows how little you truly know. Ask Exeter how quiet I was when things weren't as they should be. Ask the man WHO BEAT YOU about what I did, when I didn't get a fair shake. I made things right FOR MYSELF. You may hope it's pity, but you know damn well you brought this on yourself. You called me out when I could barely stand on my own two feet. You did so because you knew I couldn't retaliate. You did it because you were too much of a PUSSY to do it to my face. You're a nothing Winters. You're someone who, honestly, gets jollies by trying to fit the little lies into the minds of the masses, just like you always have. You're hopeful that it continues to fill the smoke screen that's shrouded your secretive non-existence because you know, just like I do, I've earned a chance to put a loss on your record that, in your mind, will shame you from existence. In your mind, I'm being pitied, yet you can't even THINK about what you'll do when I actually win... But I know... Shawn, if I win, whether you retain your SCW Championship or not will be a moot point. You will have lost to me, someone who isn't deserving, simply being coddled to, and someone who can't get over himself. In your mind you would have lost to a nobody. It'll grind at you Winters. It'll eat away from the inside, reminding you of what happened at Under ATtack. You'll feel shame any time you look at Ace, Adam, Lad, your mom, a mirror, anything. You'll try and commit suicide by duck taping a strapon between your man boobs, finding a shotgun with a toe attachment, only to have it misfire, and then add the shame of untaping a dildo from between your bosom. Then, when all is said and done, you'll leave. You'll run away. I'll come out at the next Breakdown, calling you out again, and guess what, you'll be nowhere to be found. But you'll have excuses, oh BOY will you have excuses. But you still won't be there Winters. You'll be hiding. You'll be embarrassed to walk out of that curtain, or hell, into the locker room for that matter. Jake slowly begins to approach the camera. Helms begins to backup, thinking Jake is wanting to walk and talk. Jake immediately stops him, and says he wants to do this close, so Winters has no choice but to know he's not talking to another guy who happens to be of the same name. He also lowers his voice to a much more serious whisper.
You're "Shawn fucking Winters." You're the SCW World Champion. You're a man who calls out injured guys when you know it's convenient for you, and they can't respond. You're a coward. You're an ingrate. You're that piece of feces dangling out of a rectum, that just won't fully drop. You're a pest, and that's all. You're nothing special. You were, but you took the liberty of ruining it. You elected to do your best to ruin everything it was you started to build up for yourself, and ultimately you have nothing. I've wanted this since the day I came back, and you knew prolonging it was your only hope of having any sense of safety. You knew that if you strung me out, maybe I'd just give up, and move onto someone else. You HOPED that would be the case. You never thought I would continue to come after you, and continue to gain momentum and steam. You NEVER thought I would be persistent. So now, you're having to face what it is I started, you ran away from, then opted to try and start again when you knew I wasn't around. You brought this on yourself, and your hopes and dreams of avoiding it will most CERTAINLY be dashed. You want to believe that "Jaqueline" will be a fallen star, in SCW, thanks to Shawn Winters? Believe it "Shawna..." See I can be uncreative with the feminizing of ones name too so NYAH! I really don't care. I tell you this Shawn, you can hope and pray that this match is your one and only encounter with me, but I guarantee you this, it won't be. Win or lose, Shawn, I will ALWAYS have something on you, that you'll NEVER be able to get back. As a champion, I never shied away from a challenge, nor did I ever just half-ass a match like you did with Cherry. You're pathetic, and you're a disgrace to that championship. At Under Attack, yes, a "Starr" will be falling... Across your torso, and smashing your ego like a bug. Just remember... I never, EVER, laid down for ANYONE, so I could simply focus elsewhere. Trust me when I say this... At Under Attack, I give SCW the "heart" transplant it so desperately needs! You're no champion, and you brought that stigma on yourself! With those final words, Jake walks toward the camera, and out of frame. Someone, assumably Jake, hits stop on the boombox, and after a brief moment of dancing to nothing, both Party Boy and Eddie realize that they're now all alone dancing. They both show they're bummed out, and storm off in both directions. Helms, kind of confused on what to do next, decides to do a soft fade with the camera, to give it a dramatic ending.
Jake made it clear that Winters, even with his commentary, even with his attempt to justify everything he could in his history, to try and keep it out of Jake's grasp, still left enough holes for Jake to fill up with the truth that Winters selectively omitted. It's a strategy that may have paid off in the past for Winters, but Jake isn't just your average Joe opponent, he's a man who is coming with a purpose. He's coming to crush the ego of Winters, and supplant himself back atop the world of SCW. Will he be able to succeed? Will Winters be able to prove that he's greater than Starr? Or will Winters fall, like everyone else in Greaternity, and succumb to the man, the myth, and the legend that is Jake Starr? Fin |
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