And since the match ended, he hasn't been heard from at all.

When Jake exited the arena, he had no desire to do anything related to SCW, and completely distance himself from the organization for a while. He knew he would have to try and refocus for his defense of the Tag Team Championships, but he also knew he wouldn't have to do so until relatively close to the actual match.

That, as well, is a difference from the traditional "Jake Starr" mentality. For Jake, it's usually the, "one match ends, the next one begins," mentality. This time, however, it was nothing like that. This time he has elected to be distant, and remain distant, and simply stay home with his family. It was a decision he made the minute he reached the locker room after his disappointing ending to the pay-per view.

Many have tried contacting him, and talking to him, since his "exit" from the limelight. He's done as much as possible to simply ignore anything to do with wrestling, and try and mentally get himself back into a place where he is legitimately happy with himself. He's even gone as far as saying to everyone in his house, and his close social circle who has been staying near him, to avoid speaking about SCW, the match, the upcoming match, or wrestling in general. For some surrounding him, they completely comprehend where his head is at. Those who have been in his shoes know what it's like to suffer the kinds of losses he has faced.

Others, however, don't seem to comprehend why Jake's avoided the subject at all costs.

One of the people who has been especially troubled with Jake's actions since returning home is his father-in-law, Ron Hart. Ron has never been an avid fan of Jake's choice in career, but has realized that it has provided his daughter a lifestyle where she's happy and well taken care of. So for that reason, he's continued to stay somewhat quiet. But seeing Jake post-pay-per view, and seeing how he's been a veritable recluse, it's not set well with Jake, and been something he's decided it's time to try and "discuss" with his son-in-law. Ron knows that if he were to declare his intentions to the rest of the family, Roeper would immediately prevent the opportunity from presenting itself. So he's kept it to himself, and knows that the opportunity has arrived...

As Jake sits in his office, behind his desk, he has his journal wide open, and is feverishly writing in it. The emotions that are obviously churning through his body are being scribbled onto paper, with the hopes that he can go back and review them, and find the similarities between situations that present such an emotional response.

With Jake writing away, Ron peeks in through the ajar door, and notices Jake's attention elsewhere, and figures this time is as good as ever. He takes a deep breath, feeling the stress of the imminent confrontation with his son-in-law, and gently knocks on the door. Without looking up, Jake gives the command to "enter," and Ron slowly opens the door and steps in. Jake looks up for the first time, and notices it's his father-in-law entering his office. Ron closes the door behind him, and Jake immediately knows this moment will not be one he will be enjoying by any means. With that knowledge now very apparent, Jake immediately returns to writing in his journal.

With the two now in solitude, and away from the eavesdropping ears of the rest of the family, Ron slowly approaches Jake's desk, and breaks the thick and uneasy silence.

Ron Hart: Jake... We need to have a talk...

Jake lets out a very audible sigh, and looks up from his journal. He reaches down and closes it on his desk, to ensure his father-in-law doesn't catch a glimpse of his innermost thoughts.

Jake Starr: Ok...

Ron Hart: It's about your career choice...

Jake slowly closes his eyes, shakes his head, lets out a sigh of annoyance, and looks back up toward Ron.

Jake Starr: We've had that little discussion before, Ron...

Ron Hart: Well I feel that it is time we have it again, don't you?

Jake Starr: Not really, but I'm sure I don't have much of an option at this moment.

Ron Hart: Not unless you're going to be disrespectful, and just leave.

Jake Starr: No... I'm not... So fine... Let's have it...

Ron Hart: Well, I've watched your previous couple of, oh how do you say, "matches," and I believe that it is truly time for you to take a second look, and reevaluate this little career path of yours.

Jake Starr: Oh really? Why is that?

Ron Hart: Well, for the past several years, I've sat back and dealt with your determination to live this lifestyle of yours. But now, I have a granddaughter that I also am looking out for, I feel that it's time for you to leave this child's game, become a man, and not be on the road as much.

Jake, obviously filled with annoyance at Ron's comments, leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest.

Ron Hart: ... I don't feel that it's fair to my daughter and my grandchild for you to be gone a lot of the time, and as I said, I highly suggest you begin to reconsider your decision to continue on with this job.

Jake Starr: So... Tell me this... When did you become someone who got to make these decisions for other people's families?

Ron Hart: Pardon me?

Jake Starr: I said... When did...

Ron immediately interrupts Jake.

Ron Hart: Don't be a smart ass with me Jake. I know what you said. My daughter, and my granddaughter are most DEFINITELY my family.

Jake leans forward quickly, and snaps back at Ron with very angered fervor.

Jake Starr: Ron, they're more family to ME now, than they are to YOU!

Ron Hart: Pardon me?!

Jake Starr: You know, they may be your flesh and blood, but Roeper and Mara are MY family, and they're the family that I get to make decisions for, NOT YOU!

Ron is completely taken aback by Jake's angered response toward his assertions.

Jake Starr: ... And on top of that, SIR, you have no right to criticize me for being around or not.

Ron Hart: Why not? Why don't I get to criticize something that DIRECTLY impacts my daughter and my granddaughter negatively?

Jake Starr: It's simple, Ron! You don't get a say because you didn't reconsider YOUR career choice when your children were growing up. You didn't question what your job required or entailed when you were being shipped off time and time again because you were in the military, were you?

Ron Hart: That was a completely different set of circumstances, Jake, and you know it?

Jake Starr: I do? How so?

Ron Hart: I was out fighting for this country!

Jake Starr: That's all fine and good... Where are the different set of circumstances? You were deployed several times, and gone from your family when your kids were growing up!

Ron Hart: The deployment was part of my duties as an officer!

Jake Starr: Well then, my "deployment" to events are part of my duties as a competing wrestler!

Ron Hart: That may be, but you still have options on what your choice of career is.

Jake Starr: And you didn't?

Ron Hart: Jake, my job required me to follow orders, and if those orders commanded me to leave for somewhere that my family couldn't follow, I was bound to follow them.

Jake Starr: Well my "orders" are in the form of a legally binding contract.

Ron Hart: You still have options of leaving your contract...

Jake cracks his neck to each side, feeling the stress of the moment building.

Jake Starr: Why are you so concerned all of a sudden? Why is my decision to be an active wrestler such an issue to you all of a sudden? You've been quiet, and not bitching about it up until this moment!

Ron Hart: Jake, these past couple of matches, that I've seen, have shown me that maybe it's time that you move on since your level of success hasn't been the same as it once was.

Behind his lips, Jake can be seen sucking on his teeth, and continuing to sit in silence.

Ron Hart: ... Jake you've run your course in this little "game" of yours. It's time you move on to the next phase of your life.

Jake continues to sit in silence, glaring up at Ron.

Ron Hart: ... I'm looking out for what's best for my daughter and granddaughter. I suggest you begin to do the same.

That comment forces Jake to lash back at Ron.

Jake Starr: Ron, quit trying to claim them as your own. At our wedding, you "gave your daughter away." That means it's no longer your place to look out for what's best for them. Mara, she's COMPLETELY my responsibility to care for, and it's not your place to even THINK about telling me how to do so, unless I specifically ask.

Ron Hart: Jake, I've been around, and been a parent far longer than you. I suggest you listen to what I'm saying.

Jake Starr: I was smart enough to figure out the process of making and preparing for a child, so maybe YOU should give me some credit that I am, in fact, doing what is best for me and MY family.

Ron Hart: I...

Before Ron can even get into the thought he was about to say, Jake immediately cuts him off.

Ron Hart: What is best for MY wife and MY daughter is, yeah, you guessed it, MY decision and ROEPER'S decision. It's not yours!

Ron begins to show signs that he is thoroughly annoyed that Jake is standing up to him during this conversation. Ron feels that, due to his experiences in life, and due to his military time, Jake should show more respect to him. Even with that body language, Jake continues on.

Jake Starr: I'm in a job where, yes, I am away a lot, but at the same time, I get to come home after every event. I get to come home and see my daughter and wife after I'm away for a couple nights a week.

Ron Hart: Well maybe, then, when you come home you should actually take the time to spend with your family, rather than locking yourself up in your office, and being a total recluse. Maybe you should actually act like you're part of this family you claim to be looking out for.

Jake looks down at his journal, and takes a deep breath. He looks back up at Ron with a definite and angry glare.

Jake Starr: If you want to give me advice on spending time with my family, why not be more involved with your daughter too? You know, especially when she's just given birth to her first child, rather than waiting for when the time is convenient for you?

Ron immediately becomes visually enraged with Jake's comments. Jake quickly notices, and knows he's gotten under the skin of his father-in-law.

Jake Starr: I'm done with this conversation. Could you please leave my office now?

Ron Hart: Fine... But I sincerely suggest that you think about what I just said.

Jake Starr: I think maybe you should be the one thinking about what I just said instead...

With Jake's final comment to Ron, he continues to feel irritated, and leaves Jake's office, slamming the door shut as he exits. Jake lets out another deep breath, feeling the frustrations of the heated exchange with Ron.

He looks back down and sees his journal sitting there once again. He quickly rips the notebook open, and draws a line under his last entry. He picks his pen up, and grips it extremely tightly. His arm is visibly tense, and he simply stares at the paper trying to calm down enough to begin putting his thoughts on paper.

After several moments of trying to will the tension away, Jake leans over his desk, and once again begins to write feverishly, and opening up to himself about every fiery emotion boiling through his body.

Jake Starr: Well that was an experience that I would have liked to have avoided. That was time that I wish I hadn't lost in life, and will never get back...

... But what can I do? It happened, right? I mean, what the hell does my father-in-law think he's saying? Why should he have some sort of say in the life and times of me and my family. She's my wife now. She's my daughter. Just because he doesn't understand why I go out there and bust my ass everyday doesn't mean he has a right to come in here, criticize me, and tell me, again, that I should reconsider my career. It's my decision what I do in life, and what I do to support my family properly. Right?

Am I crazy for thinking that?

What in the hell does he know about the "right" way to support my family?

What gives him ANY right to begin lambasting me, and trying to tell me how to go about doing things? He's hardly around. He comes when it's convenient for him, and on top of that, cheap for him to do so. He didn't bother coming down when Roeper was pregnant. He didn't bother trying to ensure we were prepared for parenthood. Sure, he gave us a f_cking phone call once in a while, but he wasn't being the "parent" for his daughter, was he? NO! Hell, he wasn't even there within a few days of Mara being born. He wanted us to call, and just tell him, and he sent us their "best wishes."

What the f_ck?!

So now, I'm supposed to take his criticism, run with it, and find a better profession? Why? Because he's seen a couple of my matches as of late? He thinks he can base an entire opinion off of two matches? I mean, sure, they weren't the best matches I have ever had. Sure I lost them both. Sure I went out there, didn't even remotely perform like I would have liked. Sure, I let someone do exactly what I said I wouldn't let someone do.

Sure...

Although writing all of that makes me wonder if maybe he's right... I mean, I promised myself I wouldn't go past the point when I couldn't compete at the level I wanted to compete at, and honestly, I haven't been there in a while. I knew all along I shouldn't have accepted the rematch with Dave. I shouldn't have let my f_cking greed get the best of me. I wasn't ready. I wasn't "passionate" about the match. Honestly, I never wanted it in the first place, but my damn desire to be the World Champion, and my understanding that if I didn't take the chance, and simply hope Helms slipped up, I wouldn't see another chance anytime soon. I'd be in that boat with guys like Zero, Savior, and Cherry, where they just simply talk about it, and know the odds of it happening are slim to none. I'd be reduced to one of those washed-up old guys, simply clamoring for a chance.

So instead of that, I'm reduced to it having failed at an opportunity I knew I wasn't going to succeed at. I'm reduced to that sad mentality due to my own stupidity. I could have simply stepped aside, and allowed myself to truly regroup, and not have to continue to be "someone else." I battled through being the "bad guy," then had to try and show that I was someone who was "humbled," and now I realize that neither side was what I should have done. Instead, it's simply what people expected me to act like, so I just did what they wanted, hoping they would be appeased. I never did anything to appease myself. I just appeased those who seemingly were in charge of how things were supposed to "play out." I quit being Jake Starr, and instead started being someone else. I quit being myself, and simply was a puppet of the times.

So maybe he's right?

Maybe I should reconsider my career?

I am a compromised individual.

Jake looks up and takes a deep breath. Writing all of this down seems to be something that, although probably therapeutic in the long run, is something that's hard for Jake to truly go through with. He looks back down and continues writing.

Jake Starr: ... I'm not myself. I'm still not. I don't feel like I can go out there and perform as the "Jake Starr" I would be proud of. I don't see myself defending a championship "proudly" like I have in the past. Hell, this is just a Tag Team Championship match. Sure, it's a championship. But I couldn't even walk out and be "Jake Starr" against David Helms because I was too God damn concerned with playing the role that I was, basically, "instructed" to play.

So I'm supposed to now just throw those matches away, and immediately be "Jake Starr" again? How? How am I supposed to pull that off? I was supposed to do a lot between the first and second match with Helms, and deep down, I knew it was mostly a smoke screen because I was just trying to "play the role." Now I'm supposed to do it again?

Really?

I'm supposed to change my tone yet again? I'm supposed to have some different point of view AGAIN, from the two polar opposites before? Am I supposed to continually seem like a mental nutcase because it's what is "expected?"

How? How am I supposed to do that? PLEASE... Someone please give me that answer because I don't get it.

All I heard during the whole "fallout" from the End of the Year Special, to the "buildup" to Body, Heart, and Soul, was how disingenuous I was, how unbelievable I was, and how "fake" I was being. Nobody realized I was, truly feeling that, but it wasn't something that I wouldn't normally blurt out as much as I did. It was "what was expected" though, so I followed through with it. I did it hoping people would just begin to quit with the negativity surrounding me. I did what everyone thought was "the right method" of approaching things, and look what it got me...

Jake's lip begins to quiver due to the heightened sense of frustration with the topic of his writing.

Jake Starr: ... THE SAME F_CKING NEGATIVITY! People are enamored with the thought of bitching about me, because they feel it's the only thing they have. Instead of being f_cking human, realizing that everyone has a HUMAN side to them, they, instead, continue to be f_cking assholes. I try and be nice, I try and "play their game" to simply show that, "hey look I can be a normal person too," and they give me the finger.

So again I ask myself, should I maybe listen to my father-in-law? Should I maybe just give up on my dream of being a true success? Should I give those f_cking assholes what they want, and just leave, so they can simply live in this farcical utopia, that they insist would exist without me?

The answer is... I don't know...

I have this match ahead of me that I'm supposed to have some sense of "caring" about, and truthfully, it's hard to do so. When I look back at the last couple of months, all I see is f_cking failure. I see a failure that has royally tainted how I even view myself. Yeah, in the long run, it probably hasn't done much to change how people perceive me. Yeah, people probably realize that if David and I fought again, it'd continue to remain a coin-flip on who would win.

But inside, I'm tainted...

... Again, I'm compromised...

How am I supposed to refocus off of that kind of bombshell? How am I supposed to truly care about going into a match for belts that, deep down, I feel no true connection with? I can't do it for myself. If I did it for myself, I'd be doing it for the compromised version of me. It wouldn't be for someone I care about.

What about doing it for my family? My family, truthfully, shouldn't be the focus of my wrestling career. My wife has prided herself on staying out of the wrestling spotlight, and has no desire to have me drag her into it. On top of that, why would I want to make them feel like they're responsible for if I can focus or not? Or for that matter, why should I make them feel like I am out there only for them, and none for any other reason?

So how?

Who do I put the responsibility on for me to go out there and "care?"

It's unfair to believe that I should look at it as a responsibility for someone to force me to care. Because it isn't going to happen. It would be a load of BS to think that someone can "force" me to care. I guess I could look at it from the perspective of who can I go out there to appease. I'm not going to be happy with whatever happens, win or lose, but oh well.

All I can do is go out there, and try and give the fans what they want. If they want Jake Starr to perform like they think he should, then I'll do what I can to show my skills. The opposition won't be easy. Sure, I've beaten them both in the past, but that was when I was at my best. That was when I didn't have any self-doubt. They have proven that they're worthy of the chance at the Tag Championships. They have shown that they have a deep desire to claim the belts, and represent them proudly. Hell, they probably wouldn't be considered the "worst" Tag Team Champions of all time.

Jake looks up again, and still has a fairly dejected look on his face. He once again sighs, and continues writing.

Jake Starr: ... At the same time, I have to realize that this match isn't just about me. I can't be selfish like I am in singles matches. This match, whether I like it or not, involves Greg. As much as my opinion of him changes like my underwear, I can't go out there and simply half-ass things. He's proud of the Tag Team Championships, and I'm not out to ruin anyone else's happiness because of my own feelings.

So, I have to try, at least. What happens after is where the question comes in.

At Breakdown, I have to go out there, I have to fight Stacy like I've fought her in the past. I have to make her realize I'm still, at least for that night, the same Jake Starr that took her out back in 2009. I have to show Gable that, while I respect him, and his abilities, I'm not letting him get a leg up on me. Too many have succeeded in that recently, and I can't allow for another.

On the whole, I have to go out there and get myself some kind of victory. Pinfall, submission, count out, disqualification, truthfully, I don't think it'll matter. I've lost two big matches in a row, and mentally I can't even fathom allowing for a third. I've failed too many times lately, and if I do again, there's no doubt it'll mark the end of my career. Part of me wants it, the other part doesn't. I don't know which part is more prominent, but for my long term sanity, Greg and I have to win. We have to stun the world, and continue our reign as Tag Team Champions. We have to defy the odds, and anger the hopefuls that it'll end.

Like I said... if it doesn't, I don't know what the end result will be for me. It'll put me in a situation where I'll understand that my time in the sun has definitely ended, and I'll have to figure out what's next for me, and most likely my father-in-law will be much obliged to that. But honestly, I feel like I've tasted enough failure to last a lifetime. I need something good. I need something positive.

Honestly... I need to taste success again...

As Jake finishes his writing he slowly closes his notebook, and sets the pen down on top of it. He leans back into his chair, and sighs deeply. The writing seems to have allowed him to let himself open up a bit, if to anyone, to himself. Admitting to himself that he's not himself, and that there is a distinct potential that the end is near is something that is never easy for someone to admit to themselves.

The question is will it be enough to bring "Jake Starr" back? If it isn't, then how much longer does Jake believe he can truly be happy in the world of professional wrestling? How long will he be able to feel like he can successfully compete, and do so at a level that, not only is he comfortable with, but proud of?

It's a scenario that isn't a "possibility," it's a reality. Jake knows that he faces two competitors who have proven they're "top tier" athletes in SCW, and are out to take control of the tag division. Jake also knows that his partner is someone who, when it comes time to defend a championship, can bring it better than anyone. It's a sense of comfort Jake has, but at the same time knows he can't simply rely on Greg to carry the burden of defending their titles. He has to participate as well. He has to carry his weight. If he doesn't, then the SCW landscape could be without it's "Shining Starr" for the first time since 2009.

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